What is a good day?

What is a good day? How do you define it? I guess it's different for everyone. For me, a good day used to be: being able to get through it without thinking bad things about myself, without feeling overwhelmingly sad and by noticing something positive. This may seem simple to some people and totally unachievable to others. Happiness is entirely personal. I can only speak from my own experiences, but I have found a path to happiness and although I take frequent detours, I am certain that I am on the right track.

At my lowest moments, I was an entirely different person to who I am now. I spent a lot of time alone, almost scared of having fun. I was frequently ill and almost constantly freezing cold. I didn't want to be touched and at times, my anxiety and OCD meant it was difficult to be around others. I would make excuses not to do things or I would genuinely feel so rubbish that I couldn't do things. I didn't have anyone I could really talk to, no one could empathise and few could sympathise. I felt alone.

Everything changed when I met someone who not only understood what was happening to me, but understood me. Suddenly I realised that I wasn't alone, I wasn't just imagining this and how I felt was not just "me" - things could change, I met someone who listened when I needed to vent, held me when I needed to cry and told me off when I needed telling. I can't put it any simpler than this; he saved me.

I realised that I hadn't laughed in so long - not genuine laughter. I had been coasting through life, not enjoying it but thinking this was how it had to be. I realised how wrong I was. He made me realise that there was so much life I was missing out on. I could be happy.

I began to notice so many positive things. I was on meds and no doubt, they were helping, but something else was too. I was so much more sociable, I didn't feel unwell and my ice like hands had become so much more bearable to hold. I could be myself and it was ok. Someone liked me when I was myself, sadness and all. I can't say how much this has helped me get to where I am. Despite his protests, I honestly don't think I'd have come so far without him.

I then had the courage to talk to other people, many of whom would reveal to me that they too suffer from this disease in some way. Suddenly my eyes were opened to how far the net of depression is cast. Each person has their own story, but the shared experience brings you together. I have really discovered who my friends are, and they are awesome.

For me now, a good day is when I wake up with an arm around me, feeling ok and I looking forward to an evening spent with friends. I will never underestimate the value of these things in my life.

Whilst every day certainly isn't a good day, I know that there will be good days and I have someone to share them with. More importantly, I know that even on the bad days, someone will be there to hold my hand, no matter how cold it is.