I have also been attending a CBT group for improving low self esteem. It would seem somewhat that Rumi's quote is aimed at this endeavour. Don't belittle yourself. Don't be any less than you should be. Recognise that you have no real right to be here, yet here you are, making up part of this infinitely beautiful, confusing, tangled space that we claim as our own.
When I think about it like that, in those two simple sentences, I can see how I should feel. I shouldn't be ungrateful for the parts the universe gave up to create me. Someone else would have used these atoms to their full extent, yet here I am wasting them lying on a couch, eating biscuits and thinking about how much weight I've put on. Poor universe, I'm sorry.
I'd say in all honesty that the CBT isn't really going far to smash my crippling self esteem issues (I mean, you may have gathered that when I apologised to the universe) but it has given me a comfort. It is a group course and when I listen to other people describing how they feel and giving examples of their problems, I nod in agreement and feel a relief that it's not just me. There's comfort in familiarity and comradery, even if it is based upon our flaws.
Self esteem issues extend far and wide, as well as not quite feeling that you are the universe itself, it is hard to take compliments. Very hard. My toes curl sometimes even thinking about it. I have a strategy which goes like this:
Nice person: "I like your hair, it looks good today"
Me: "I like your face"
That is my default answer. It saves me from fumbling for words or saying something terribly awkward or from simply denying it and/or putting myself down. People usually laugh and they enjoy the (perhaps odd and not terribly true) compliment they get back in return. Instead of thinking 'wow she's weird and down on herself', they just think 'wow she's weird'. That's good enough for me.
It is very difficult to change your thought patterns, negative thinking and what is called predictive thinking can mean that you quite simply put words into other people's mouths (without them even speaking... oh see above for a lovely example of that) Assuming people will think you are stupid if you say something. Not wanting to go somewhere because you think no one will want to talk to you or sit with you. I don't think a 6 week course can stop these feeling in their tracks, it's just so ingrained into who you are.
The best way, as with many things, is to start with small changes. To start thinking maybe I do have something useful to say sometimes. Maybe some people do like me. Maybe I am not as bright a star as I'd like to be but I know that I am still shining, still going and still a part of the universe in motion.
Maybe one day I will be able to take a compliment, but for now, just know "I like your face", honestly.
