From what I have read on forums, Citalopram is one of the main culprits, as one of it's favourite side effects is to mess with your concentration. I have read many posts from people stating exactly that. I do feel that this is the only persistent side affect of the medication that I have, but as others have said - it is something that you can live with much easier than the the feelings that lead to your prescription in the first place.
Poor concentration is also a typical symptom of depression and it has been suggested that those who are depressed cannot take in information as quickly or efficiently as those "normal" people out there. The ability to make decisions is hindered, it is much harder to get enjoyment from reading and memory problems often ensue. Coupled with the fatigue and general malaise, this pretty much sucks. No other way to put it!
Though I haven't found a cure to my concentration problems, I have found several ways of dealing with it. Firstly though, I just had to accept that I was no longer the same and that my brain wasn't going to work the way it used to, at least not for now. This was very important because I was really getting down on myself about this. Within my CBT, I was able to talk through this and realise that there was nothing I could do and it wasn't my fault. This was an important step for me.
I knew that it was completely possible and entirely reasonable that my lack of concentration would become evident at work. I spoke to my colleagues about this and was completely honest about what was going on. I had some strategies in place to help me get by and I urged them to let me know if I was really slipping. No one has said anything, so I'm either doing ok or no one dares tell me! I started to take more regular beaks from my screen, get air whenever I felt overwhelmed and I always ask for help when I need it.
I have pretty much given up on films, I used to love going to the cinema but now I feel anxious thinking about going and I know that I will struggle to get through an entire film without fidgeting, clock watching and phone checking. More than that, I will drift off into my own thought and miss something vital or close my eyes at the exact wrong moment. To be honest, it's not much of a loss.
I used to watch a lot more TV. I would say it used to be my best friend, but again, I struggle to concentrate or commit to a series now. That's not to say I don't go on an OITNB binge every now and again... I'm not a monster. But TV and books have been sidelined somewhat as I just don't find them as enjoyable as I used to.
Recently, I have found that I am able to focus on more creative things. As I have said, I colour a lot as it is an easy distraction but doesn't involve a lot of thinking or a decision harder than which coloured pen to choose. I have started on a new project recently with my boyfriend, to restore an old ship's wheel. It is involved and fun and hands on and a really good way of focusing. I can see it's progress easily and it gives me a sense of achievement and pride when I see our hard work paying off.
This sort of activity is the best thing I have found so far. It is a distraction from my thoughts, a great thing to focus on, a way to spend time together and a way to prove to myself that I can do new things and I can be good at them. All of these things have a positive effect on my mood and I have really noticed a change in myself and I think it will start to show.
I am already planning my next project and plan to embrace my rediscovered focus and drive for as long as it lasts. Or at least until the next shiny thing comes along...
Always here x
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